Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 4

Wow a lot happened this episode. Okay let's start from the beginning.

So the queens walk into the workroom and Kimora is gone. Immediately, Aja starts going after Valentina, and Alexis joins in. Now I thought Alexis' argument was fine, but Aja's is clearly based on fear, which Valentina is wise enough to realise. After then complaining about Valentina to Shea, Aja claims she is going to win the challenge this episode. Since that's what Trinity said last week, I thought Aja was going to win this week (side note, I find it hilarious the way Aja said "mark my words").

After the tv message and mini challenge (oh wait...), Ru announces this week's challenge is a talk show. At this point I'm thinking this is the episode Farrah goes home. Also, the runway theme is "naughty nighties" (although I was sure Ru said "naughty 90's"). Trinity and Aja are team captains, which, in a perfect world, would have been determined by a mini challenge. Surprisingly, the first person Aja picks is Valentina. Nina is chosen last which is also a shock. 

Next, we see the rehearsals for the talk show - well, only one team's rehearsal, they seriously need to have longer episodes. Eureka is being such a pest that Trinity makes her raise her hand to speak (which she does basically straight away, and then makes a point of the fact that her hand is raised so she should be able to talk, even though someone else is already talking). In a move that is seen by some (mainly Eureka) as dictatorial, Trinity assigns the roles to each person, rather than let them decide what to do. After they split into their pairs, we see Charlie being very controlling towards Cynthia, who claims that she is being hindered by Charlie's man-handling. 

After this we see the first glimpse of the other team as they walk onto the set. We see that Aja and Valentina are paired together (but once again, we weren't shown the process for that decision) and they have absolutely no chemistry between them whatsoever. On the other hand, Sasha and Shea are absolutely hilarious as they play on their sexual tension towards each other in a scene involving a 'Lady and the Tramp'-style broccoli moment. Following a perfectly fine but boring interview with Naya Rivera, the other team comes in. From the get-go it is a train wreck: Trinity and Peppermint play the roles of two adversaries, with the unnecessary storyline of Peppermint sleeping with Trinity's husband (which Peppermint indicates by showing she has Trinity's husband's business card - don't people give their business cards away to everyone they meet?). Trinity's character is stale, while Peppermint, though stumbling over a lot of her lines, plays a much more likeable persona. Then we have Charlie being a control freak and Cynthia being hilariously and adorably incoherent ("I'm intolerant lactose"). The saving grace of the team is Nina and (I hate to say it) Eureka, who have a skit about using food for wigs and pads. This interview is a lot more interesting, but for the wrong reasons. Charlie asks a question, then immediately follows it up with another one, interrupting Naya; however, the most cringe-inducing moment is when Charlie takes it upon herself to say the closing lines of the interview, in the process not signing off Naya. It's the moment the show puts a big neon sign pointing to Charlie saying "bottom 2".

It's elimination day and the queens are getting ready for the runway. Aja and Valentina have a moment, during which Aja sincerely apologises for the way she lashed out, and that settles the feud between them (at least until Aja is next in the bottom 2). Charlie breaks down while talking about the AIDS crisis and how he buried most of his closest friends. Then, when Valentina is about to discuss one of the disorders she has been struggling with, Eureka says "eating", which sets Sasha off. In the ensuing argument, Eureka displays the emotional development of a toddler, claiming that she is now upset, because she got called out for making a tasteless joke at an inappropriate time, then refusing to apologise. This is the exact moment where Eureka becomes my least favourite queen in the history of the show. I want her gone. Now.

The music starts and the stage lights up to reveal an awful-looking Ru. The wig is the worst I've seen her in, and the makeup and dress are just okay. After once again stating that the runway theme is naughty 90's (in my mind), we get the horribly short runway montage, which literally only goes for 38 seconds.

Good

Passable

Bad

Best: Valentina.
Worst: Peppermint

Sasha and Shea are the winners, receiving a one year supply of hamburgers (??), and Aja's whole team is declared safe, where we see a genuine hug between Aja and Valentina. Following the critiques, Ru asks the dreaded question: "Who deserves to go home tonight and why?". We get (from memory, correct me if I'm wrong) 2 votes for Trinity, 2 for Peppermint and 2 for Charlie. There is an altercation between Trinity and Eureka with more incorrectly-said expressions "I stand beside it". After the judges deliberate, Trinity and Charlie are delegated to the bottom 2. 

In what is potentially the worst lip sync in the history of the show, Charlie, Tammie Brown style, gives up and doesn't move a muscle. She gives the excuse that she only sings live she doesn't lip sync, but her problem wasn't her lip syncing, she nailed the words better than Kimora did last episode, but she just stood in one spot during a Britney Spears song. Trinity, on the other hand, BROUGHT IT. I have never been more disappointed in a queen. Not only did Charlie give up, but she also undermined Trinity's performance - anyone would have won the lip sync against her, it didn't matter that Trinity did one of the best performances I've ever seen - AND she killed what should have gone down in herstory as one of the great lip syncs of Drag Race. So Charlie got sent home, and I'm pretty bummed, although I would have been upset either way. I'm disappointed we won't get to see her Joan Rivers for the snatch game, but it's her fault for giving up. 

All in all, it was a pretty good episode, and hopefully next episode will be the best ever by eliminating Eureka.

Ranking

By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. Ranking is based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. 

12. Charlie Hides 

11. Farrah Moan - Farrah did reasonably well this week. Her look was very nice (though not unlike things we've already seen from her) and her acrylic toenail gag was funny. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that she has consistently underwhelmed thus far. 

10. Cynthia Lee Fontaine - I've said it every week, Cynthia has not yet shown why she deserves a second chance. I love her, I think she's a great person, but at least Shangela brought it to her season when she came back.

9. Aja - Aja didn't drop the ball this week as much as some other people did, but since I'm making this ranking based on overall performance, she doesn't rise above other people, she'll have to do well the next few weeks to make her way up this list. I do have to say though, her makeup was so much better this week.

8. Alexis Michelle - Alexis was fine this episode, and that's the problem. The entire season she's just been fine. She needs to step it up if she really wants to do well.

7. Peppermint - Peppermint did the worst this episode, in my opinion. Though Charlie and Trinity were worse in the challenge, her runway look was so much worse than even the second-worst look. Despite that, she has done pretty well so far, so that stops her from being pushed down further.

6. Eureka - I try really hard to be objective when making this. Nothing would make me happier than putting her at the bottom until she's eliminated, but I can't do that, because she did very well in the challenge and she's been pretty strong throughout the competition. 

5. Sasha Velour - I've been getting worried about Sasha, and she hasn't been doing too well in my rankings, but this episode she really stepped it up. If she performs like this every episode, she'll easily make it to top three. However, she's still doing a little too much in the runway (why did she need the candelabra?), and she'll need to learn to edit so she doesn't get read by the judges.

4. Trinity Taylor - Trinity has done very well so far, though this week she fumbled. That being said, I still thought her runway look was one of the best, and I was close to putting her as a tie with Valentina. Though she has been dethroned from the top, she's still got a good rank.

3. Valentina - Valentina was surprisingly boring in the main challenge, I didn't expect it. She's been slaying so far though, so she's still got a high ranking.

2. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - Nina was definitely the saving grace of her team, and her runway was killer. She's earned her way back up to the top.

1. Shea Coulee - I have a feeling Shea has gotten started and now there's going to be no stopping her. I wouldn't be surprised if she takes the crown. I hated her based on meet the queens, but now she's one of my absolute favourites, and I don't see her being knocked off this top spot easily.

Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 3

This episode confirmed my concerns I've had ever since meet the queens: this season might suck. This episode was not great - Ru looked the worst I've ever seen her, poor editing choices resulted in really only 5 queens being shown the entire episode, the challenge had promise but was met with mostly lacklustre performances, and the top 3 and bottom 2 didn't contain the right queens.

Let's start from the beginning. The queens walk in after Jaymes' elimination, Kimora is confused about why she was in the bottom, and Trinity is gunning for Valentina to win this week's challenge (immediately revealing that she will either win or be in the bottom 2). After Ru announces the week's challenge, it is soon clear that the bottom 3 and winner will consist of Aja, Farrah, Kimora and Trinity. 

We have some irrelevant moments (Valentina's eyebrows, Trinity's chocolate starfish and Cynthia's cucu explanation) that only make the episode feel like a slog to get through (which is impressive, considering it is under 40 minutes). It isn't until the discussion about Pulse that it feels like something important is finally happening. It is a very frank and genuine moment that doesn't feel manipulated by the producers in any way. Given that Drag Race is now on VH1, this discussion could really open the eyes of some people who may have underestimated the significance of the massacre to the LGBT+ community.

Okay so the runway. 
Good

Passable

Bad

You know it's not a great episode when one of the most interesting things is the judges. I loved the judges this episode. From their reactions:

To their critiques:
"Every year, Ru and Michelle tell people 'you cannot come out here with a piece of fabric wrapped around your waist', and I'm no seamstress, but that looks like a piece of fabric wrapped around your waist." Where was THIS Todrick on All Stars?

But easily the best part of the entire episode was when Michelle CAME for Kimora. 
(By the way, what on earth was Kimora talking about with her padding?)
The second best part was when no one laughed at Ru's joke.

After the deliberation, we find out that Aja and Kimora are in the bottom 2 (it should have been Farrah and Kimora, with Farrah going home), and Trinity is declared the winner (which is definitely well-deserved). I thought Nina and Shea should have been in the top as well, but I understand there can only be a few. 
Aja completely slayed the lip sync while Kimora awkwardly stumbled around on stage and fumbled words. In the end, it was the end for Kimora, who left pretty gracefully for someone who was considered before the season started to be the villain.

So that's it for a pretty lacklustre episode. We can only hope that the season gets more interesting than this.

Ranking
By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. Ranking is based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. 

13. Kimora Blac

12. Farrah Moan - I'm sick of Farrah. I was never a fan of her but now she's grating on me. She absolutely should have been in the bottom 2 this episode. If she doesn't go home next I'm going to be shocked. I'm sick of the way she whines and complains her way through each episode, and the more I see her, the less beautiful I think she is. She's got to go.

11. Cynthia Lee Fontaine - Like I've said before, if you get brought back, you need to prove why you deserve to be back, and I'm just not seeing it with her.

10. Aja - I didn't realise Aja was wearing chaps until the judges said so, I thought she was wearing a bodysuit with a bizarre lopsided pattern on the front. Her look was bad, her makeup is consistently rough, and her attitude in Untucked was not good. She's a fierce lipsyncher, but she's going to need to step up her game if she wants to make it farther. 

9. Sasha Velour - Sasha's look was fine, but you've got a problem if I think your sidekick is more interesting than your runway look. She has faded into the background after her strong opening in episode 1. I understand we're only on episode 3, but if she doesn't step it up and show why she's here, she may be in danger of going home.

8. Charlie Hides - Charlie did a good job this episode, I wouldn't have been surprised to see her in the top. She was one of the only people who actually looked like a princess, and her sidekick was enjoyable. She moves up a few rankings for me for her performance this episode, but based on an overall view of performance this season, she's still far from the best.

7. Eureka - Eureka has consistently done reasonably well so far, but tonight she wasn't great, so that knocks her down a few places. Again, I have to give her credit for helping out Farrah with her outfit.

6. Alexis Michelle - Alexis is still kind of middle-of-the-road. She's done well but not great so far. I really enjoyed her outfit and sidekick this episode, but I don't see her as one of the strongest contenders, at least not yet.

5. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - Like I said before, I thought Nina deserved to be in the top (I'd probably swap her out for Peppermint). Last episode and this one, she faded into the background during most of the episode but once she hits that runway, she's such a presence, you have to pay attention to her. It'll be interesting to see how she can handle (in fact, how all of them can handle) an acting challenge, which I really hope is coming up, because so far, we haven't seen much that shows their talent other than runway.

4. Shea Coulee - Shea had my absolute favourite look this episode. I thought her dress was gorgeous, I loved the huge mermaid tail at the bottom, I don't think I've seen one that wide before. I didn't really understand what was going on with the midsection but that's fine. Unless she really slips up one episode, I'll be surprised if she's not in the top 3 (even though I put her at number 4 this episode).  

3. Peppermint - I read weeks ago that Peppermint was going to be the first to go home. As soon as she walked into the work room the first episode I thought that was impossible, and here we are at episode 3 with her shaping up to be a strong contender for top 3. Her runway look wasn't my favourite and I didn't necessarily think she should have been in the top, but she still did well.

2. Valentina - I didn't care for Valentina's outfit, but I LOVED her makeup, she looked so beautiful. With the way she's being edited, she's either going to make top 3 or royally screw something up and go home. There's something about her that I still can't connect to, I feel like she hides behind a facade, and there's something about her that scares me a little, especially with her villain look this episode.

1. Trinity Taylor - If you had told me after I saw meet the queens that Trinity was going to make the top of my list on episode 3, I would have said you were crazy. She has been my biggest turn around this season. I started off disliking her, but now I'm rooting for her. I like her, she seems genuine and fun, and I love how all the fans (including me) underestimated her and now she's one of the strongest contenders. I still don't think she'll win, but I also thought she'd go home first, so you never know.

Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 2

Wow what a great episode! This challenge is definitely up there among my favourites. This episode also changed my opinion of some queens, which we'll get to in the ranking.

So right from the jump, Cynthia is Queen #14! I'm happy to see her back and healthy. 

I have to say, I thought Lisa Kudrow was going to be a guest judge this episode, not just literally saying "hello hello hello!" and "well, I got it". Oh well.

Let's skip to the challenge. We see Valentina getting picked last but still keeping her head held high, which I admire. The best revenge is to do well and show them why you shouldn't be picked last, which we saw Cynthia admit to. I understand it might have been taken out of context, but I thought it was horrible how Cynthia said Nina was just doing "community service" when she picked Jaymes for her team. As I keep saying, I don't particularly like Jaymes, but I do feel bad for her. I put Jaymes last in my ranking last week, but I didn't think she'd actually be the first to go. 
So the cheerleading challenge. Like I said last week, I was expecting it to be pompoms and cheering, this completely blew me away. I gasped when they tossed Shea into the air. I don't really have much to talk about in regards to the challenge because I think everyone did reasonably well. Jaymes was struggling in the rehearsal but I didn't notice her slip up in the actual challenge. Side note: Alexis is the best looking out of drag, but I have to say, that bald spot (which I don't think was visible before this episode) took him down a few points.

Runway. The theme was White Party. I had to Google what a white party actually is, but I'm guessing the theme was more 'white' than 'white party'. I'm scrapping the 'garb' and 'garbage' because it's dumb. I'm just going to break the looks down into 'good', 'passable' and 'bad'. Original, right?

Good
Nina

Alexis

Shea

Charlie

Aja

 Jaymes

 Valentina

Trinity

Peppermint

Passable
Cynthia

Farrah

Eureka

Bad
Kimora

Sasha

Alright so that sums up the runway looks. Overall, this was a more enjoyable episode than the premiere. It's good to see the show back on its feet and return to the normal format. Stay tuned until episode 3.

Ranking
By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. To begin, the ranking will be based largely on episodic performance, but in a couple of weeks it will be based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. Also, I usually write these starting with the very bottom queens and the very top queens and then work my way down, opposite to the way you would be reading it. I apologise if it doesn't fully make sense.

This is difficult for me because it was very hard to pay attention to everyone, the challenge was happening so quickly and I think everyone did a pretty good job. A lot of this particular ranking will be based on runway and how noticeable they were during the challenge and episode. I should probably have rewatched the episode and taken notes to do a better ranking, but I'm sorry I just don't have the time. 

14. Jaymes Mansfield - I thought her runway look was much stronger this episode. Even though I didn't like her, it's a shame to see her go so soon. I teared up when she said in Untucked "I guess some dreams aren't meant for everyone", and I admired her graceful exit. "Underneath all this glamorous drag I'm a human being so be kind". Bye Jaymes.
13. Kimora Blac - GIRL. I love her but she needs to STEP IT UP. Her runway look was yet another bodysuit (which we've basically already seen on Trinity for her entrance), and I didn't really notice her during the challenge. I was expecting her to turn out the lip sync, but she didn't; I really wouldn't have been surprised if it was a double elimination.
12. Cynthia Lee Fontaine - This was hard for me because she wasn't there last episode and so it's more difficult to compare her to the other queens. I'm putting her here because so far she hasn't impressed me. If Ru brings you back, unfortunately your job is harder because you need to prove why you deserve to have been brought back.
11. Farrah Moan - I'm finding Farrah is fading into the background, which leads me to think she makes it into a few episodes, but not far enough to really need to establish a storyline for her. Her runway look was fine and I can't recall even seeing her in the challenge. I give her a few more episodes.
10. Charlie Hides - I feel bad because of course Charlie wasn't going to do great in this challenge. I think that, for her age, she did well. I really liked her snow queen runway look. However, I have to give her a lower placement because of her performance.
9. Aja - I vaguely recall Aja doing quite well in the challenge, and I really enjoyed her runway look (I always love a face cage thing. Well except for Adore's). But, I have to give her a low placement because it seems like once they cut the fat, Aja will be first to go. She's not really standing out for me at this point, which is a shame because I really like her.
8. Sasha Velour - I love Sasha, she's been my pick to win from the start, but I didn't like the runway look at all, and this episode she didn't really stand out. 
7. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - Yet another queen that I don't remember from the challenge. Her runway look was great, but based on the fact that she wasn't memorable in the cheerleading, I'm going to have to give her a lower placement.
6. Alexis Michelle - I have to say, Alexis hasn't been killing it like I thought she would be, but she also hasn't been terrible. She's still middle-of-the-road for me at the moment. She held her own during the challenge, and her runway look was good but not great. 
5. Eureka - I wasn't expecting Eureka to be as strong as she has been. Even though she's kind of being painted as the season's villain thus far, she still seems like a sweetheart who occasionally throws shade. I was very impressed by her not making a fuss out of her apparent injury during the challenge, and I was happy to be able to see her do her splits and kicks like she said she can do in her meet the queens video. She may slip down the rankings later, but for the moment she is doing very well.
4. Peppermint - Based on her previous experience as a cheerleader, I was expecting her to be more prevalent in the challenge, but she still did reasonably well. Her runway look was good as well, I can see her as someone who the other girls should be threatened by. Her story about being gay bashed was very touching and genuine, and I'm glad to hear about all the love she got.
3. Trinity Taylor - I'm beginning to think I, and the entire fanbase, underestimated Trinity. I'm finding myself warming up to her, and while she's not my favourite, I can definitely see that she is a strong contender. Her face as she was being held up was hilarious and her runway look was good, as was her performance. I'll be interested to see if she continues to be good.
2. Shea Coulee - Shea is definitely shaping up to be a strong contender for top 3. I loved her runway look and performance. When she was tossed in the air I was so shocked, it was awesome.
1. Valentina - I didn't understand the hype with Valentina to begin with, but I think I do now. I love how she's quietly confident, it reminds me of Violet Chachki. Her wedding dress was incredible and she slayed the challenge by commitment to character. I didn't like the other queens' ridicule of her candle (I don't know who the figure is on it but I'm assuming it's part of a particular religion).