Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 5

FINALLY. This episode felt like a return to form for Drag Race: there was a mini challenge, there was pit crew (with two new members, bye Bryce and Miles), Ru looked great, we had a main challenge that was truly worth talking about, AND we had a shock elimination.

The queens enter the work room, and without skipping a beat, Trinity wipes Charlie's message off the mirror, which was very funny. The girls talk about how disappointing it was to see Charlie give up, and it's true; Charlie can give the excuses of her rib (which I don't buy. If she cracked her rib, why didn't we hear about it before?) and not lip syncing in London (which some British people have been quick to deny), but she really just gave up. Then Farrah asks Trinity how it felt to have everyone throw her under the bus (I feel like we need a new term for this). Trinity says that she feels like she should have been in the bottom because she was the leader, not for anything else. Eureka says that's probably why she was in the bottom, which Trinity completely ignores. She is getting more entertaining every episode. In her confessional, Alexis declares that this is now her time to rise to the top, and Nina says she wants to see certain people in the bottom ("sue me").

Ru walks in wearing an amazing suit, and announces the mini challenge - a selfie-taking session with the pit crew. I love dumb fun mini challenges! There are a few standouts - Alexis gets lifted up (with difficulty), Cynthia takes a blurry selfie, and Valentina asks Ru to introduce her as Miss Venezuela  then gets the crew to pose like a "Chola homeboy". Alexis wins, and she gets to assign everyone's role in the main challenge - Kardashian: The Musical. The roles are: Alexis as Kris, Eureka as North West, Cynthia as Kim, Farrah as Kylie, Valentina as Kendall, Aja as Kourtney, Sasha as Lindsay Lohan, Trinity as Paris Hilton, Peppermint as Britney Spears, Shea as Blac Chyna, and Nina as Khloe. Cynthia, Aja, Peppermint and Nina all seem to be unhappy with their roles, but Nina takes it to heart, she keeps talking about it all throughout the episode. Eureka reveals that she is now on crutches because of her injury during the cheerleading challenge in episode 2, which also explains why she was sitting down during the lip sync last week. I have to hand it to her, she has such a positive attitude about it and doesn't let it hinder her performance, something which Nina could learn from.
During rehearsal, Nina doesn't take direction well from Todrick, and again harps on about not being assigned Blac Chyna. We also see Aja struggling with the moves, and then Farrah can't get a patty cake move down.

On elimination day, we see Trinity trying to get along with Eureka and she expresses her admiration for Eureka's positive spirit. Aja is shocked to see her nose has gotten thinner; and Eureka goes up to Sasha and Valentina and apologises for her joke about eating disorders last episode. It feels like a very genuine apology, and makes me feel a bit better about Eureka. Sasha reveals that she was severely anorexic through most of her early 20's, and Valentina shares that she still struggles with an eating disorder, which makes Eureka's seemingly harmless joke directed towards Valentina suddenly a lot more serious. Then, Shea walks up to the group and says that she has also struggled with bulimia in the past. It is yet another raw moment, and despite the premise being formulaic, each moment is an important message to everyone, not just those in the LGBT+ community. 

Ru walks out onto the runway and she looks fantastic for the first time this season. It feels like she finally showed up. The guest judges are Todrick Hall and Meghan Trainor (who is wearing a onesie. On RuPaul's Drag Race. Girl). Ru announces the main challenge and the musical starts up. It is immediately clear that Cynthia doesn't know the words, and she fumbles her way through the entire performance. Peppermint does a great Britney, and Sasha and Trinity do a perfectly fine job at their characters (I do love Trinity's "that's hot"). Alexis does an amazing job at Kris, not only does she look just like her, but she gets her mannerisms down (even though I generally try to avoid anything to do with the Kardashians, I know enough to understand how well Alexis portrayed Kris). Cynthia's Kim is still dreadful, Nina does a surprisingly good Khloe, and Aja does a pretty strong Kourtney. Valentina's Kendall is reasonably good, but Farrah's Kylie is bad, she again fails the simple choreography. Then Shea has a quick standout part as Blac Chyna, and it becomes immediately apparent that the runway will be the determining factor in whether Shea or Alexis will win the challenge. Finally, Eureka's North West is fine, it's not a standout but it isn't bad enough to put her in the bottom. After the musical ends, Ru announces that the runway is "faux fur fabulous".

Good

Passable

Bad

Best: Shea
Worst: Cynthia

I didn't hate Alexis' outfit as much as some people did, but it would have been much better without revealing the dress underneath the coat. Shea is declared the winner (for the second week in a row), while Cynthia and Farrah are the bottom 2. After a pretty lacklustre lip sync (I focused more on Peppermint dancing in the background), someone walks up to the judges table and says something to Ru. At first I thought it was Cynthia, I don't know why. Then Ru says he needs a moment, and walks off the set. At this point, you know something is going to happen other than either Farrah or Cynthia going home. I was thinking it was going to be a double elimination. After Ru comes back, she calls up Eureka, and this immediately means she's going home, but I thought she was going to be disqualified for doing something wrong like William. Instead, Ru tells her that she's spoken with the doctor, and she can't "under good conscience" let her continue in the competition, giving her an open invitation to return to Season 10. It's a very emotional moment. I understand this probably makes me spineless, but my opinion of Eureka immediately changed and I felt really bad for her. It's a horrible way for anyone to go, especially considering her injury occurred while doing a challenge in the competition. After Eureka leaves, Farrah and Cynthia are both declared safe. I was kind of hoping maybe Ru would do a triple elimination and get rid of both of them as well. My prediction is that they'll both be in the bottom two next week. It's only a matter of time before they're both eliminated. 

So that was it for this episode. I said last week I wanted nothing more than for Eureka to go home, but this wasn't the satisfying end I was hoping for. I wanted her to go home because she did terribly in a challenge and was outperformed in the lip sync, but let's hope that she learns from her mistakes and returns next season with a better personality. Next episode is Snatch Game, and, honestly, I'm not expecting a lot from these queens. I think Shea, Sasha, Peppermint and Nina will do very well at whatever characters they're doing, and I'm expecting Cynthia and Farrah in the bottom.

Ranking

By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. Ranking is based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. 
This week the ranking has changed a little. Before it was based on who I objectively think is doing the best; however, I'm now basing it on statistics: amount of wins, amount of highs, amount of lows and amount of times in the bottom two. Looking back at past seasons, I discovered that every single winner has had the most challenge wins. In seasons where the winner had the same amount of wins as another queen, the winner had more highs, less lows and less times in the bottom two. There's only one season where the winner was absolutely evenly matched with another contestant, I believe it was Raja and Manila. What I'm trying to say is, I think this is a good indication of who will take the crown.

11. Eureka
10. Cynthia - Cynthia is one lucky queen. If Eureka wasn't sent home, I'm sure she'd be gone. Her time will be up next week surely. She has been underwhelming in the challenges and runway. For a queen who has been given the opportunity to come back, she has not been doing well at all.
9. Farrah - I'm pretty sure Farrah is evenly matched with Cynthia, but I put her above because this is not her second time in this competition.
8. Aja - Aja has been surprisingly underwhelming this season. I'm worried that once the fat (Cynthia and Farrah) is cut off, she'll be the next to go.
7. Peppermint - If I remember correctly, wasn't there a rumour that Peppermint went home first? That certainly didn't come to pass, and I don't see her going soon.
6. Alexis - She made herself pretty unlikeable in this episode. She chose the standout character for herself but then blamed everyone else for her runway look? She needs to get a grip. She's been doing okay so far. The next 5 girls have all won a challenge, so she's the best one who hasn't won a challenge yet, if that's any consolation.
5. Nina - I was worried about her last week, and I'm even more concerned this week. She's great and I think she has a good chance of at least being in the top 4, if not the top 3. But she needs to get out of her head if she is to do so.
4. Trinity - Like I said before, we all underestimated Trinity, and I don't think she's going anytime soon.
3. Sasha - Though I've felt like she has faded into the background a little bit so far, statistically she's doing well. It's a bit hard for me to fully consider her win an actual win, since it was paired with Shea, but they both brought it last episode, so she deserves it.
2. Valentina - I still can't fully get behind Valentina. I feel like she's putting on a facade and we're not seeing the real her. That being said, I still like her. At this point, I feel like she's an almost guarantee for top 3.
1. Shea - I said it last week, I feel like Shea just got started and now she's going to be unstoppable. So far, she's proving me right. I would love for her to win the next challenge so she can be the first queen to win 3 challenges in a row.

Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 3

This episode confirmed my concerns I've had ever since meet the queens: this season might suck. This episode was not great - Ru looked the worst I've ever seen her, poor editing choices resulted in really only 5 queens being shown the entire episode, the challenge had promise but was met with mostly lacklustre performances, and the top 3 and bottom 2 didn't contain the right queens.

Let's start from the beginning. The queens walk in after Jaymes' elimination, Kimora is confused about why she was in the bottom, and Trinity is gunning for Valentina to win this week's challenge (immediately revealing that she will either win or be in the bottom 2). After Ru announces the week's challenge, it is soon clear that the bottom 3 and winner will consist of Aja, Farrah, Kimora and Trinity. 

We have some irrelevant moments (Valentina's eyebrows, Trinity's chocolate starfish and Cynthia's cucu explanation) that only make the episode feel like a slog to get through (which is impressive, considering it is under 40 minutes). It isn't until the discussion about Pulse that it feels like something important is finally happening. It is a very frank and genuine moment that doesn't feel manipulated by the producers in any way. Given that Drag Race is now on VH1, this discussion could really open the eyes of some people who may have underestimated the significance of the massacre to the LGBT+ community.

Okay so the runway. 
Good

Passable

Bad

You know it's not a great episode when one of the most interesting things is the judges. I loved the judges this episode. From their reactions:

To their critiques:
"Every year, Ru and Michelle tell people 'you cannot come out here with a piece of fabric wrapped around your waist', and I'm no seamstress, but that looks like a piece of fabric wrapped around your waist." Where was THIS Todrick on All Stars?

But easily the best part of the entire episode was when Michelle CAME for Kimora. 
(By the way, what on earth was Kimora talking about with her padding?)
The second best part was when no one laughed at Ru's joke.

After the deliberation, we find out that Aja and Kimora are in the bottom 2 (it should have been Farrah and Kimora, with Farrah going home), and Trinity is declared the winner (which is definitely well-deserved). I thought Nina and Shea should have been in the top as well, but I understand there can only be a few. 
Aja completely slayed the lip sync while Kimora awkwardly stumbled around on stage and fumbled words. In the end, it was the end for Kimora, who left pretty gracefully for someone who was considered before the season started to be the villain.

So that's it for a pretty lacklustre episode. We can only hope that the season gets more interesting than this.

Ranking
By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. Ranking is based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. 

13. Kimora Blac

12. Farrah Moan - I'm sick of Farrah. I was never a fan of her but now she's grating on me. She absolutely should have been in the bottom 2 this episode. If she doesn't go home next I'm going to be shocked. I'm sick of the way she whines and complains her way through each episode, and the more I see her, the less beautiful I think she is. She's got to go.

11. Cynthia Lee Fontaine - Like I've said before, if you get brought back, you need to prove why you deserve to be back, and I'm just not seeing it with her.

10. Aja - I didn't realise Aja was wearing chaps until the judges said so, I thought she was wearing a bodysuit with a bizarre lopsided pattern on the front. Her look was bad, her makeup is consistently rough, and her attitude in Untucked was not good. She's a fierce lipsyncher, but she's going to need to step up her game if she wants to make it farther. 

9. Sasha Velour - Sasha's look was fine, but you've got a problem if I think your sidekick is more interesting than your runway look. She has faded into the background after her strong opening in episode 1. I understand we're only on episode 3, but if she doesn't step it up and show why she's here, she may be in danger of going home.

8. Charlie Hides - Charlie did a good job this episode, I wouldn't have been surprised to see her in the top. She was one of the only people who actually looked like a princess, and her sidekick was enjoyable. She moves up a few rankings for me for her performance this episode, but based on an overall view of performance this season, she's still far from the best.

7. Eureka - Eureka has consistently done reasonably well so far, but tonight she wasn't great, so that knocks her down a few places. Again, I have to give her credit for helping out Farrah with her outfit.

6. Alexis Michelle - Alexis is still kind of middle-of-the-road. She's done well but not great so far. I really enjoyed her outfit and sidekick this episode, but I don't see her as one of the strongest contenders, at least not yet.

5. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - Like I said before, I thought Nina deserved to be in the top (I'd probably swap her out for Peppermint). Last episode and this one, she faded into the background during most of the episode but once she hits that runway, she's such a presence, you have to pay attention to her. It'll be interesting to see how she can handle (in fact, how all of them can handle) an acting challenge, which I really hope is coming up, because so far, we haven't seen much that shows their talent other than runway.

4. Shea Coulee - Shea had my absolute favourite look this episode. I thought her dress was gorgeous, I loved the huge mermaid tail at the bottom, I don't think I've seen one that wide before. I didn't really understand what was going on with the midsection but that's fine. Unless she really slips up one episode, I'll be surprised if she's not in the top 3 (even though I put her at number 4 this episode).  

3. Peppermint - I read weeks ago that Peppermint was going to be the first to go home. As soon as she walked into the work room the first episode I thought that was impossible, and here we are at episode 3 with her shaping up to be a strong contender for top 3. Her runway look wasn't my favourite and I didn't necessarily think she should have been in the top, but she still did well.

2. Valentina - I didn't care for Valentina's outfit, but I LOVED her makeup, she looked so beautiful. With the way she's being edited, she's either going to make top 3 or royally screw something up and go home. There's something about her that I still can't connect to, I feel like she hides behind a facade, and there's something about her that scares me a little, especially with her villain look this episode.

1. Trinity Taylor - If you had told me after I saw meet the queens that Trinity was going to make the top of my list on episode 3, I would have said you were crazy. She has been my biggest turn around this season. I started off disliking her, but now I'm rooting for her. I like her, she seems genuine and fun, and I love how all the fans (including me) underestimated her and now she's one of the strongest contenders. I still don't think she'll win, but I also thought she'd go home first, so you never know.

Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 2

Wow what a great episode! This challenge is definitely up there among my favourites. This episode also changed my opinion of some queens, which we'll get to in the ranking.

So right from the jump, Cynthia is Queen #14! I'm happy to see her back and healthy. 

I have to say, I thought Lisa Kudrow was going to be a guest judge this episode, not just literally saying "hello hello hello!" and "well, I got it". Oh well.

Let's skip to the challenge. We see Valentina getting picked last but still keeping her head held high, which I admire. The best revenge is to do well and show them why you shouldn't be picked last, which we saw Cynthia admit to. I understand it might have been taken out of context, but I thought it was horrible how Cynthia said Nina was just doing "community service" when she picked Jaymes for her team. As I keep saying, I don't particularly like Jaymes, but I do feel bad for her. I put Jaymes last in my ranking last week, but I didn't think she'd actually be the first to go. 
So the cheerleading challenge. Like I said last week, I was expecting it to be pompoms and cheering, this completely blew me away. I gasped when they tossed Shea into the air. I don't really have much to talk about in regards to the challenge because I think everyone did reasonably well. Jaymes was struggling in the rehearsal but I didn't notice her slip up in the actual challenge. Side note: Alexis is the best looking out of drag, but I have to say, that bald spot (which I don't think was visible before this episode) took him down a few points.

Runway. The theme was White Party. I had to Google what a white party actually is, but I'm guessing the theme was more 'white' than 'white party'. I'm scrapping the 'garb' and 'garbage' because it's dumb. I'm just going to break the looks down into 'good', 'passable' and 'bad'. Original, right?

Good
Nina

Alexis

Shea

Charlie

Aja

 Jaymes

 Valentina

Trinity

Peppermint

Passable
Cynthia

Farrah

Eureka

Bad
Kimora

Sasha

Alright so that sums up the runway looks. Overall, this was a more enjoyable episode than the premiere. It's good to see the show back on its feet and return to the normal format. Stay tuned until episode 3.

Ranking
By default, the eliminated queen is last on the ranking. To begin, the ranking will be based largely on episodic performance, but in a couple of weeks it will be based upon consideration of a holistic view of previous performance and the way they are presented in the storyline and editing. Also, I usually write these starting with the very bottom queens and the very top queens and then work my way down, opposite to the way you would be reading it. I apologise if it doesn't fully make sense.

This is difficult for me because it was very hard to pay attention to everyone, the challenge was happening so quickly and I think everyone did a pretty good job. A lot of this particular ranking will be based on runway and how noticeable they were during the challenge and episode. I should probably have rewatched the episode and taken notes to do a better ranking, but I'm sorry I just don't have the time. 

14. Jaymes Mansfield - I thought her runway look was much stronger this episode. Even though I didn't like her, it's a shame to see her go so soon. I teared up when she said in Untucked "I guess some dreams aren't meant for everyone", and I admired her graceful exit. "Underneath all this glamorous drag I'm a human being so be kind". Bye Jaymes.
13. Kimora Blac - GIRL. I love her but she needs to STEP IT UP. Her runway look was yet another bodysuit (which we've basically already seen on Trinity for her entrance), and I didn't really notice her during the challenge. I was expecting her to turn out the lip sync, but she didn't; I really wouldn't have been surprised if it was a double elimination.
12. Cynthia Lee Fontaine - This was hard for me because she wasn't there last episode and so it's more difficult to compare her to the other queens. I'm putting her here because so far she hasn't impressed me. If Ru brings you back, unfortunately your job is harder because you need to prove why you deserve to have been brought back.
11. Farrah Moan - I'm finding Farrah is fading into the background, which leads me to think she makes it into a few episodes, but not far enough to really need to establish a storyline for her. Her runway look was fine and I can't recall even seeing her in the challenge. I give her a few more episodes.
10. Charlie Hides - I feel bad because of course Charlie wasn't going to do great in this challenge. I think that, for her age, she did well. I really liked her snow queen runway look. However, I have to give her a lower placement because of her performance.
9. Aja - I vaguely recall Aja doing quite well in the challenge, and I really enjoyed her runway look (I always love a face cage thing. Well except for Adore's). But, I have to give her a low placement because it seems like once they cut the fat, Aja will be first to go. She's not really standing out for me at this point, which is a shame because I really like her.
8. Sasha Velour - I love Sasha, she's been my pick to win from the start, but I didn't like the runway look at all, and this episode she didn't really stand out. 
7. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - Yet another queen that I don't remember from the challenge. Her runway look was great, but based on the fact that she wasn't memorable in the cheerleading, I'm going to have to give her a lower placement.
6. Alexis Michelle - I have to say, Alexis hasn't been killing it like I thought she would be, but she also hasn't been terrible. She's still middle-of-the-road for me at the moment. She held her own during the challenge, and her runway look was good but not great. 
5. Eureka - I wasn't expecting Eureka to be as strong as she has been. Even though she's kind of being painted as the season's villain thus far, she still seems like a sweetheart who occasionally throws shade. I was very impressed by her not making a fuss out of her apparent injury during the challenge, and I was happy to be able to see her do her splits and kicks like she said she can do in her meet the queens video. She may slip down the rankings later, but for the moment she is doing very well.
4. Peppermint - Based on her previous experience as a cheerleader, I was expecting her to be more prevalent in the challenge, but she still did reasonably well. Her runway look was good as well, I can see her as someone who the other girls should be threatened by. Her story about being gay bashed was very touching and genuine, and I'm glad to hear about all the love she got.
3. Trinity Taylor - I'm beginning to think I, and the entire fanbase, underestimated Trinity. I'm finding myself warming up to her, and while she's not my favourite, I can definitely see that she is a strong contender. Her face as she was being held up was hilarious and her runway look was good, as was her performance. I'll be interested to see if she continues to be good.
2. Shea Coulee - Shea is definitely shaping up to be a strong contender for top 3. I loved her runway look and performance. When she was tossed in the air I was so shocked, it was awesome.
1. Valentina - I didn't understand the hype with Valentina to begin with, but I think I do now. I love how she's quietly confident, it reminds me of Violet Chachki. Her wedding dress was incredible and she slayed the challenge by commitment to character. I didn't like the other queens' ridicule of her candle (I don't know who the figure is on it but I'm assuming it's part of a particular religion). 

Recap + Ranking: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 9 Episode 1

Disclaimer - I'm aware that this was uploaded after episode 2 aired. I did write this before watching episode 2 but I somehow forgot to actually post it.

This episode left me with so many questions.
Why wasn't Ru in drag this episode?
Why is the stage different? Is it going to be like that for the rest of the season?
Is the judges' table going to be like that the whole season as well?
Why did they change the background for the confessionals?
Why are we focusing on Lady Gaga more than the queens?
Why is Carson still a judge?
Etc.

So here we go.
First up in the workroom was Peppermint. I absolutely loved her look, the braids were awesome and I love the electric blue kimono(?). She seems like an absolute joy to be around. I wasn't a huge fan of her based on her meet the queens and promo look, but now I love her. I'm not sure yet if she has what it takes to be America's next drag superstar, but I think she can definitely get close.

After Peppermint is Valentina. I'm warming up to her most definitely. I live for her confidence. Not exactly sure how I feel about the confessional look but that's fine. I find it hard to believe that she's only been doing drag for 10 months (or has she been doing it for longer? I noticed she said her drag debut was 10 months ago), she is definitely polished for such a young queen.

 Eureka. I quite liked this entrance look. One thing I didn't anticipate based on her meet the queens video was that she'd be such a bitch. She definitely likes being the centre of attention. This is perhaps going to be shady, but I'm not convinced by her crying when Gaga came in. To me it felt like a way of getting more attention. I don't know. I used to like Eureka but I found her abrasive this episode. We'll see.

Up next, Charlie Hides. I absolutely loved this look. I loved how she took off her sunnies and then looked through the massive glasses. I love how she's wearing massive heels even though she's 52 (looking at you Jaymes). She's got a great sense of humour and I can't wait to see more from her. I've seen somewhere that apparently next episode there's a cheerleading challenge, so if that at all involves physical activity and not just waving pompoms around, she could be in trouble.

Farrah Moan came in next. I'm not sure if she lacks confidence based on the way she pokes her head around the corner. She is beautiful, but I'm not sure she has what it takes to make it past a few episodes. I mean, the way she whinged when she couldn't get her own workstation? Get a grip girl. I also wasn't a fan of the outfit, and her response to Eureka's explanation of her name - "I've never vacuumed before" - was weird.

After Farrah was Sasha. Now I love Sasha, she's been my pick for the winner ever since I saw the promo looks and the meet the queens video. But I hated the scream (I agreed with Eureka - "oh wow"). I didn't particularly care for the look, I like the crown, but the rest just kind of all blended together.

So then we got to Alexis Michelle. I'm a fan of hers, but this look was not at all flattering. Also, this brings me to stray thought #1 - does Alexis have a problem with her leg? Did anyone notice that as she was walking in her foot was pointed out to the side? But anyway, I liked her hair, it reminded me of Laila McQueen at the finale.

Then walks in Shea Coulee (I've given up trying to copy and paste an accented e, it annoys me too much). I loved this ensemble. I understand where a lot of people are coming from saying it's too much, and I'd probably tend to agree somewhat, but I can't figure out what I'd get rid of, so it's all good. Stray thought #2 - why is Pearl on her dress?

Trinity Taylor. Girl. I don't know why I dislike her outfit so much but I do. I like the hair, and her makeup is marginally better than it was in her promo look, but the actual bodysuit itself I was not a fan of. Stray thought #3 - "I don't like to use the word 'pageant queen'", no more than 36 seconds later (I counted) - "I'm a pageant girl".

Kimora! YES! As anyone who has read my meet the queens reaction post will know, I hated Kimora at first. Now I love her. This entrance look was everything, she looked so stunning. I loved how she came in after Trinity to show her who the real body queen is.

Okay. I still feel bad for Jaymes. She looked terrified when she came in. I don't know if she brought the puppet with her to show what she can do, or because she needed something to comfort her. I'm thinking it's the latter. I liked the dress, I'm not sure why but I liked the fact that the outline of the corset was visible. But I still don't like her. Her persona seems like she should be likeable, but I think the fact that she's hiding behind a character at all stops me from connecting with her. Eureka hit the nail on the head by seeing through her character right away. When Jaymes was in the confessional, having dropped the character voice, I found I liked him much more. So I think I like him but not her.

Nina Bo'Nina Banana Fofana Osama Bin Laden Brown walked in next. She was one of my absolute favourites from meet the queens, and I was so glad to see her in another insane look. Can't wait to see more of her looks. I am concerned that the judges are going to call her out for always doing over the top looks, but I for one think it's awesome.

I adored Aja's promo look, but her face must have been photoshopped because this was rough. I understand (based on what I've read) that she's got acne scars so her makeup will always look rough, but I can't get past it. It doesn't mean I like her any less, but it was just a bit of a shock to me to see such a difference. I also didn't like this outfit whatsoever.

And the 14th queen - Ronnie from New Jersey.
Okay so I totally forgot that Gaga was coming into the workroom. Once I saw the shoes I was like OMG WHO IS THAT, but then it quickly dawned on me. I would love to see a queen wear boots like that at some stage.

Righto. So now we have a very genuine moment between Gaga and the queens. This is the first part of the episode where I thought it felt wrong. Everyone is supposed to be at each other's throats by now, not supporting each other! Then there was no shedonealreadydonehadherses-mail, so Ru's entrance kind of came out of the blue. I like his raincoat suit. Then we hear that no one is going home this episode (which drastically lowers the stakes, he should have said that at the end), and the main challenge is a pageant, where they will be serving two looks. Oh no. This is exactly how season 7 started out.

Now we get a very brief look at the queens getting ready. There is no de-dragging shown. It concerns me here that Aja is kind of getting an edit that makes her look annoying and entitled. But oh well, we'll see how that turns out later.

So here's the pageant. I'm going to give a very quick toot-or-boot-style rundown, but, since I'm an original, I'm going to do garb (= good, or at least, not bad) and garbage (= bad).
I'm writing this right now after I've already given the looks a rundown. I thought 'garb' and 'garbage' were really clever before but now I think they're dumb and I hate them. I'm going to try and think of something else before next episode's review.

Hometown looks
Peppermint - garb
Valentina - garb
Eureka - garb
Charlie - garbage
Farrah - garb
Sasha - garb
Alexis - garbage
Shea - garb
Trinity - garbage
Kimora - garb
Jaymes - garbage
Nina - garb
Aja - garb

Gaga looks
Peppermint - garb
Valentina - garb
Eureka - garb
Charlie - garb
Farrah - garb
Sasha - garb
Alexis - garb
Shea - garbage
Trinity - garb
Kimora - garbage
Jaymes - garb
Nina - garb
Aja - garb

Now we find out the top 3 - Eureka, Sasha and Nina. I thought this was a good top 3. I thought for sure Valentina was going to be there but I can understand why she wasn't, there can only be a top 3 and I think these 4 were the strongest. So then Nina wins (YAY) and Ru has a Steve Harvey moment. We find out that a 14th queen is returning to the competition. Who could it be???

Ranking
13. Jaymes Mansfield - she served up 2 looks already seen on season 6 (Magnolia's hoedown look and Adore's Ru look), and she seems out of place in this competition. I liked her Gaga look only for the sheer cojones it took for her to act like a sleep-deprived Gaga IN FRONT OF GAGA.
12. Kimora Blac - I love Kimora, but her Gaga look was a mess, and her Vegas look was only fine. She's gorgeous, but she's going to need to step it up.
11. Farrah Moan - I quite enjoyed the Vegas look, and the Alejandro look was fine. There was nothing particularly bad about either of the looks but I just think everyone else's - even if they had one bad one - were stronger or more interesting.
10. Alexis Michelle - I absolutely thought Alexis could have made such a stronger statement if the fan lifted up to say "BLACK LIVES MATTER", rather than in little writing on her bodysuit. I wasn't particularly impressed with her Gaga look, apparently that bodice is very difficult to recreate; as someone who doesn't create clothing or anything I don't get that, I just thought the look was a bit plain.
9. Trinity Taylor - her hometown look amazed me a lot more in the trailer for the season than it did this episode. It was really cool how she blended in with the fan (is that what it's called? The thing that lifts up behind her), but I thought the actual design was bad. Like Alexis, it would have been great if a statement was made, like maybe something to do with Pulse? I enjoyed her Countess look except the blood, it looked very fake. But other than that there were no real complaints, just that I thought other people did better. Oh except for the back of the circle thing. Side note - I've never seen the type of thing before that Alexis and Trinity did where you lift up the piece of fabric behind you, and they both did it this episode?
8. Shea Coulee - I thought the hot dog was fun, and twice now she has worn a headdress and she has a bit of hair sticking out the front - that's clever so she doesn't just look like a face. Her Gaga look was a bit messy, it didn't look much like the original.
7. Peppermint - her Statue of Liberty was not as well executed as Aja's, but I loved her Bowie look. Gaga nailed it though when she said that she's just got to work on tuning the finer details. However, it did annoy me when one of the judges said she should have had the lightning bolt - it wasn't on Gaga's look.
6. Charlie Hides - even though I thought her pilgrim ensemble was boring and the tearaway was sloppy, her fantastic Gaga look saved her from having a low placement.
5. Aja - her Statue of Liberty was predictable - by the time she showed up we'd already seen two; and though her Commes des Garçon dress was differently coloured than the original (if you're going to make it that similar, why not make it exactly the same?), it was a cool unique choice.
4. Valentina - her L.A. mariachi outfit was so fun, and the Gaga look was great too but I honestly think the wig brought her down, it looked very cheap.
3. Eureka - both of her looks were executed well. For me she's tied with Valentina, but the fact that she made top 3 puts her a cut above.
2. Sasha Velour - her hometown look, although tedious, was strong, and her Applause look was too. I wasn't a massive fan of the Applause makeup - it didn't look quite like Gaga's did. But I'm pretty sure they were pressed for time so she did well.
1. Nina Bo'Nina Brown - both of her looks were so strong. Her Georgia peach was fascinating and incredible, and her Gaga look was fantastic - rather than wear an exact replica of something Gaga wore, she translated it into her own style.